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Monthly Archives: September 2016
Maybe I should preface this post with a disclaimer? Or maybe I should dive right in! I have told you before that nothing that I say is serious or informative but this may borderline fall into one or both of those categories! So take notes people!
Things that irk me… people not cleaning up after themselves, you know like say in a public restroom. I hate to go into a public restroom to find trash strung from here to there, wet vanities, and worst of all pee on the toilet seat (that ties with an unflushed toilet). Are you kidding me?!? Is this how your house is treated?!? I see this everywhere Starbucks, the grocery store and even at work (and believe me if I know it was you I have not issue in calling you out on it). I am just appalled that people do not pick up after themselves. Even in the breakroom, is it really that hard to throw away the empty donut box?!? When did people become so entitled that they do not feel the need to clean up after themselves? Why do you feel the need to throw trash on the floor? This just makes me think that much less of you, when I see you act like this. There is not a maid following you around and even if there were, that still does not give you the right to not cleanup after yourself.
I can forgive men a little easier than women for this. I think because men have predominately been brought up having someone do their laundry, clean up after them, etc. Does this give them an excuse? HELL NO! But I understand slightly when I see them not wipe up a drip of coffee… not when they throw trash on the floor. Seriously?!? Makes me wonder what your house looked like growing up. But to see a woman, say pee on the toilet seat in an office and walk away with no regards to this. I am so dumbfounded… there are no words. I just can’t fathom where this dirty creature lives that this is ok?!? And how hard is it to change out the paper towels or refill the napkins or at least let someone know you took the last of something and we need more or it needs to be restocked.
I cannot possibly be the only person that has an issue with this. Cleanup after yourself (you nasty person)! This just amazes me! I can’t believe that when dealing with adults this is the outcome. If I was a kindergarten teacher I could understand that we had yet to reach the stage in life where we cleanup ourselves… but to be a grown adult and not have reached this milestone, makes me wonder if you will?!? I am sure there is a class somewhere to take on said life changing events! Look into it! No seriously! Like STAT!
So I know I told you about my bag obsession. Even though we have not thoroughly delved into that topic (it is really too deep to start with) I do have another obsession to fill you in on… MAKEUP! Well truly beauty things in general. I have an obsession with Sephora, Ulta and really anywhere I pass a makeup, beauty, skin care or even perfume counter. My makeup table is crazy! Like literally CRAZY! And what is even crazier is I do not wear makeup every day. I go through spurts where I wear makeup all the time and then I go through spurts where I have to knock the dust off of everything! And it is not because I don’t enjoy doing any sort of a beauty routine, because I do! But I REALLY enjoy sleep, so I take advantage of the 15 minutes I would use at the table to make me look a little more presentable and use it on my pillow instead. And here lately it even seems that blow drying my hair before I went to bed with wet (read: frizzy in the morning) hair seems to be just a little too much effort. Is it because I am running on fumes these days? I don’t know… but it is what it is. I will try to make more of an effort since this aging skin is not getting any younger, lol.
I will tell you that one thing I look forward to every month is my ipsy subscription! It truly makes me do my makeup at least once a month. I must test the new items and somehow that leads me to a full face of makeup! But I love (most) of what I get! If you are a beauty fanatic, it is totally worth the $10 per month to have new items shipped to your door to try! The items can be full size or trial, makeup or beauty, and even tools/makeup brushes. My most favorite eyeshadow brush came from an ipsy bag! My niece, Emily, loved Birchbox as well. But I never ventured out to that box. I believe it is more beauty related (meaning hair care, skin care, perfume) but I am not 100% sure. I have also done the Sephora box subscription and I loved it. But my credit card was compromised at one point and it was such a hassle to get it updated that I never messed with it, but I did love it!
Maybe one day I will do a makeup tutorial… haha! I literally laughed the entire way through that sentence. That “tutorial” would be, learning what not to do presented by The Other Kim K! But I will tell you, it would be entertaining. Especially if Emily joined in. You have never seen anything funnier that the two of us (in our Spanx, I must add) doing our hair and makeup on the cruise! Of course the room had terrible lighting and I remember Emily telling me “you just put tease where bootycall goes”. I promise you these are eyeshadow shades, lol. Any way we called our room “Salon 424”. It was entertaining. Our humor is very similar to the Dollar Gentral (Hannah & Kaylee) girls! We manage to laugh at ourselves in all aspects. We like to embrace the good, the bad and the very ugly, lol.
My point to all of this craziness is treat yourself! If your obsession (or if you are like me obsessions) is not makeup find something to give yourself every month. It could be shoes, health/fitness, cooking, chocolates or even wine! There are all types of clubs/boxes that will ship to your door! Have it done! Treat yourself! Don’t wait on a special event! Enjoy everyday!
Info:
Here is a link to signup for ipsy (in case your obsession is real):
https://www.ipsy.com/new?cid=ppage_ref&sid=link&refer=1jjyu
Maelle is a new makeup and beauty line that is launching in October. Their products have been compared to YSL, Anastasia Beverly Hills, Bobbi Brown, etc. I told you my obsession was real so of course I joined and I am eagerly awaiting my kit!
https://www.maellebeauty.com/store/KimKMaelle
As I sit here drinking my iced coffee I realized this blog is like a therapist. I mean with no real results of course because nobody is responding with “that is a sign of a crazy person”, or telling me I should be working on my personality flaws. But I am good with not knowing that side of things, lol. I will just continue to rattle off all of the peculiar and absurd things running through my head here!
The other thing I have recently realized is I should be probably be committed because I feel like with each blog, I discover I have an obsession with SOMETHING else. I mean I knew iced coffee was something I stopped for every morning and sometimes drive out of my way to get (and I even learned to make it at home) but never did I allow it into my thick skull that my iced coffee habit had in fact become an obsession. You know like my purses or makeup or baking or dogs (hahaha my poor husband). I mean why can’t I be obsessed with working out? Or eating healthy? Or you know something good for me? Why must I be obsessed with shopping, purses, iced coffee and making sugary goodness?!? Where did my morals get hijacked, only to lead me down the path of deceitful goodness?!? I mean not that it is changing because I feel pretty committed at this moment but I am just wondering why couldn’t my morals have decided they would be hijacked by yoga and the gym? Instead they took a sharp left and found cake! Clearly this is my life!
Whatever… I am here for the ride. So really the only thing to do next is decide what I am baking tonight. I know what you are thinking and keep your judgmental thoughts to yourself! I will be baking with or without your blessing! And you will enjoy the recipe, damn it! I am 2 ½ seconds in to this post and feel exhausted already! Can we please disclose someone else’s problems now lol?
So you want to know how to make my iced coffee… I originally read Ree Drummond’s blog, http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/perfect-iced-coffee/ and modified it to what works for me. I have used a bazillion (Don’t judge! Jody and I both drank it) different brands/strengths/flavors of coffee. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Starbucks Christmas blend coffee to make at home iced coffee!!! It is smooth and yummy! Try it! If you don’t like it, bring it over to me haha! It is only out around Christmas, but I buy a few bags to stash in my freezer to prolong the yummy goodness.
So I have a 2.5 gallon container that I got from Walmart that I use to “brew” my coffee. It’s pretty complex so follow along… Open coffee. Pour contents into fancy red container. Fill with water. Secure lid. Put in fridge for 8-48 hours (depending about what craziness is on your schedule for the next few days). Yup… that was it. But now comes the truly difficult part and I am not being sarcastic this time. It was straining that crap. It would really make you re-evaluate your caffeine addiction. This coming from the person who ends up throwing away fruit that I am sure would have been amazing but it is now in the trash because I could not stand the thought of the mess it would make when I cut it up so it never saw the sharpness of a knife. And I bake… yea I know I don’t understand the complexity of my brain either. Anywho… So I would layer cheesecloth*** On a side not when you go to your local fancy Walmart and ask people where their cheesecloth is because not one of these locations can put it in the same freaking vicinity, they will look at you as if you just asked where they keep their unicorns. Keep looking because they were unaware they even carried unicorns at Walmart… caskets yes, Unicorns (i.e. cheesecloth) No.*** and pour the contents through just like Ree Drummond. Well she must be a unicorn because she is so poised and pretty and she ended up with a beautiful glass of iced coffee. I on the other hand had coffee ground behind the TV I think. It was a messy thing, but the coffee was delicious. And I vowed to never make it again. But on my next batch (AGAIN DON’T JUDGE! Caffeine headaches are real!) I finessed it, each time and it got better, and less messy. And then one day my wonderful husband comes be-bopping (what’s this even mean? Skipping? Hopping? Nope…be-bopping) home with little cold brew coffee bags from Amazon! Really? You couldn’t have located these prior to the coffee ground being so chaotically spread throughout the house? But I used these and they were much better than straining the coffee. I have to make it in smaller batches (or use to bags to make a full batch of our coffee), but it does make life easier to just lift a bag out of the yummy dark liquid in the fridge and consume immediately! And then I can dump the grounds and put the bag in the dishwasher. I would recommend this route or go to Walmart and look for unicorns… your decision!
Recipe:
1 bag of your favorite coffee
1 2-ish gallon container
Water
Cheesecloth (aka unicorns)
Put the bag of coffee in the container and fill with water. This is truly a trial and error recipe because if you like weaker coffee you will want to use less coffee or more water and vice versa if you like stronger coffee. If you chose to do the strain method, you will pour the coffee through a few layers of the cheesecloth. Once all of the coffee has been strained and the grounds are nestled in your cheesecloth. Be sure to squeeze any extra liquid from the ground before they find their way to the trash. If you chose to do the bags, squeeze the extra liquid from the grounds, empty your bag and put it in the dishwasher.
Now you can add whatever you like to your coffee… cream, sugar, flavored syrups, etc. Dress it the way you like and enjoy!
***Cold brew coffee has a lower acidic level (like 67% lower). If you like coffee but have a problem with the acid level, try it this way. This also helps with the “burnt” flavor that coffee can sometimes have.***
So I know I said I love to make things from scratch, so I hope this cake does not mislead anyone! Because I do love to scratch up a recipe but I don’t mind taking shortcuts either. So here is a shortcut recipe! The main reason I chose this is because it is my Mom’s FAVORITE cake. I promised her a few times this year I would make it and had not gotten to it yet. The other reason I decided this would be my first one to share… EVERYONE asks me for the recipe when they try it. The reason being it taste like wedding cake. So you can forgo the coconut finish and have an amazing almond/vanilla white cake.
So like I said this is a “shortcut” recipe, meaning it starts with a boxed cake mix. I prefer the Duncan Hines cake mixes because they always seem to be so spot on. They are always moist, but use your favorite brand. Telling you how to make this could not be any easier… in fact at this moment I am having remorse for sharing this as my first recipe because it is ridiculously easy… but the cake is done, pictures are taken, so I feel pretty committed. So make the cake according to the directions on the back of the box. My sister, Nissa assisted in the cake baking festivities. And she asked me why the cake only called for egg whites. Well, this cake is a white cake so they are trying to keep all color out of the cake (no egg yolks, clear vanilla, etc). If that does not matter to you, use regular vanilla and you can use the whole egg (but I save my yolks and make crème brulee… YUMMY!).
To make this cake… follow the directions on the box (I make 2 boxes and use 8” round cake pans). Yup… really it’s that difficult! (I told you I was remorseful!) My wonderful God-mother (Sylvia) taught me to make this cake and the frosting! She only adds one flavoring to her cake, but I prefer both in the cake and the frosting. So I tweaked it. But I assure you not a soul on this earth makes this cake or any other baked good as well as her. She has taught me a lot about baking over the years! I add in about a tablespoon-ish (I am always heavy handed with these two flavorings) of vanilla and Almond. That is it! That is the only change you make to the cake. But it is crazy how much it improves it and changes it. Trust me… MAKE THE CAKE. You will understand!
So really that is it for the cake. I bake according to the box. I use professional grade baking pans that my Fabulous Mother-in-law gave me when Jody and I got married. They truly do make the difference. These are the equivalent to good make-up brushes! Invest in them! They make your cakes bake even and tall and they are usually pretty flat across the top. Some trimming is needed if you want, but they are great!
- So bake the cake according to the box. CHECK!
- Use good pans. CHECK!
- Revel in the glorious smell wafting from the over. CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! Even Nissa made a comment about this one.
So on to the frosting…
This too is fairly simple; pop open a can of frosting. I kid! I kid! That stuff is terrible! Throw that shit in the trash. This frosting starts with a Crisco base. You can do a butter base, but this way it can sit on the counter. If you prefer butter, go ahead. I have made it both ways. I buy the 1 cup Crisco “blocks”, because it saves me from measuring and keeps one more thing clean in my kitchen while I am baking. I throw that in the Kitchenaid and start it whipping. I like to add the flavoring now, because the frosting can go from too thick to too thin quickly. So I want to make sure I don’t add in too much wet ingredients at the end. Again I start with a tablespoon-ish of each flavoring. As you go you can taste it to your liking to see if it needs more of either. Now start to slowly add in the 2lbs of powder sugar (FYI: that is a whole bag of powder sugar). When it starts to get too thick, add in a tablespoon a water to a time. Do not be like me when I am in a rush and pour in more than that too fast… you will end up with runny frosting quickly! That is it alternate you sugar and water until you reach the consistency you want. I look for a happy medium. I want it spreadable, but not too thin. I don’t want it sliding off my cake. Once you make it a couple of times, you will decide how you like it best. ***REMEMBER to add any extra flavoring that you want before you are happy with the texture or you could make it too thin.***
Now Frost the cake… I cut my 2 8” layers in half so I have 4 thinner layer. But you can keep it to 2 8” layers! My mom likes coconut between each layer… but they are not as stable and honestly I forget after I have put on the 2nd layer, so I just put the coconut on the outside, but if you LOVE coconut… add it between your layers!
Recipe:
Cake
2 White Cake Mixes (make according to the box)
1 Tablespoon Vanilla extract
1 Tablespoon Almond extract
Prepare cake according to directions on the box. Add in vanilla and almond, mix well. Grease 2 8” round pans and back according to box.
Tips: Once I have my batter in the pans, I “pop” the pans on the counter to help remove air bubbles and to level the batter before it hits the oven. Adjust the flavor to your preference, add a little extra if you want a stronger flavor or scale back slightly for a more subtle flavor.
Frosting
1 cup Crisco
2lbs Powder Sugar
1 Tablespoon Vanilla extract
1 Tablespoon Almond extract
Water- added for desired consistency
1 7oz bag of sweetened coconut flakes
Mix Crisco, vanilla and almond. Slowly add in powder sugar, alternating with a tablespoon of water until you reach your desired consistency. Frost your cake and add coconut.
Tips: If you are looking for a smoother texture for your frosting, sift the powder sugar first. Adjust the flavor to your preference, add a little extra if you want a stronger flavor or scale back slightly for a more subtle flavor. Add coconut between layers for extra flavor.
Happy Baking!!
So I said my next post would be baking… And apparently I lied. Things have been so crazy for the last couple of weeks. This has caused a major delay in my plans of baking!
Jody came home a week ago this past Tuesday holding his arm. He had been moving a stubborn piece of pipe (that was insistent not to cooperate and stay in the front end loader to simply be moved)… Jody tried to “coax” in the bucket, next thing he knows he heard two loud pops, his arm flung to the ground like a rubber band and there was immediate excruciating pain that made him nauseous. He was not sure that there was “really a need” to go to the emergency room that night. When he told me about the “divot” in his arm, I knew he had torn something and told him we were headed to the ER. We spent a few hours there to find out he had ripped his bicep off the bone and they would be referring him to a specialist. Thursday was the quickest we could get in to the Orthopedic surgeon and get his MRI done. The surgeon confirmed what the ER told us but said he also ripped the tendon from the bone. Our only option was to do surgery or he would lose 80% (+/-) motion in that arm. I think Jody truly contemplated not having surgery, because let’s face it surgery is scary! But he agreed and we scheduled the earliest he could get in.
His surgery was a week to the day of the injury. It started much later than we had planned. He was just being moved into recovery about the time I originally thought we would get home. His oxygen levels were very low which caused concern, but after a few things this was remedied and he looked good and was finally released to go home. We had about a 12 hour day which was much longer than we expected for the hour – 1 ½ hour surgery we headed out for. But the good news is everything went great! The doctor was very pleased with the 
surgery and the staff was wonderful! Now I only have to make sure he puts nothing in that hand heavier than an 8oz coffee cup, or twist it too far, or get it wet, or extend it to far and make sure he keeps it in a sling…. Clearly this will be a breeze!
Here is a picture of Jody in the ER. You can see the crease in his left arm near the elbow. That is where his muscle had bunched up and caused it to look “off”.
Here are happy thoughts for his healing and recovery! He has been a good patient thus far.
I did attempt to start the cake before the surgery for my next post, but we got home so late there was no time energy to finish. So that is on my to do list tonight.
So next post… baking! Seriously this time!
Stay Fabulous!
