Apparently 2012 Kim was trying to provide 2020 Kim with plenty of content and topics to write about! This was once again my status on Facebook. I can only assume these two statuses were connected. Everything in 2012 revolved around my colt. The excitement of sending him off to the devastation of what followed. My last post was written looking back. Since I feel like this topic goes hand in hand with my last one, I will write it looking forward.

Great things are not created suddenly… I am sure this comes as no great surprise to anyone reading this. But it is something we often lose sight of, especially in this day and age (instagram vs. reality anyone?!?). When all things are instant gratification, we sometimes forget it takes time to create something great! It could be spending day in and day out in the gym to create the body you have always wanted. Or building your business/career to be everything you have ever dreamed. Or if it is something to do with your hobby. Like building up your colt to be the greatest thing you have ever seen! All of these things take time and patience and sacrifice and fortitude and more patience. But with everyday and every step, you will see the improvement and see things going in the right direction. Sometimes in the climb, we feel like things have become too difficult that we miss seeing that our next step is the top of the mountain. We have reached greatness but we are walking away in the final seconds of the game. This is why it is imperative that you never give up. Are there any times that you can look back and think of a time you wished you hadn’t given up on a dream or a goal or something you had been working so hard towards? Does it make you wonder where you would be today and what would be different if you had just kept chugging along?

No matter what you are working towards, how great or small the task, it will take time. Diamonds take billions of years to be created. Pressure and time, that is what is involved in that process. But with a little polish, they shine in the face of adversity. It took an uncomfortable situation to make the hardest substance on earth. Even lab created diamonds, in perfect conditions, are not created instantaneously.

If you think about that analogy, it shows there is no time limit. It is never too late to circle back to something you gave up on… or you just haven’t finished it yet. That may be a better way to look at it. And there is no better time than the present to work on finishing it! So, you are 80 and want to be a body builder?!? Awesome! Setup a schedule, get a trainer, work on your diet and get to rolling with your greatness! You are 40 and trying to start over with your dream career! That’s amazing! You could do what you love for the next 40 years! That’s exciting. Your hobby dealt you a heartbreaking blow, but you recovered and you are on track (and nobody’s timeline) to achieve your dreams. Now these are the stories I want to read about. These are headlines!

I remember as a kid, I used to read the American Quarter Horse Journal every month without fail, multiple times. I would dream of being great. I would imagine what it would be like to have a stellar horse grace these pages and tell our story. I dreamed of a story so great, that people would want to read it. Here’s to the hope of never letting go of that dream and having the perseverance to see it through to the end.

This was a status that popped up in my memories on facebook today. It was from 2012. Although, I can’t remember what exactly this memory was in reference to, the sentiment is still the same.

What I realize, 8 year later, is that most dreams are hard. Not sometimes, but almost always, they are hard. I think it is because our aspirations are usually so great. And that greatness does not come easy. If it did, everyone would be there, doing it. But our dreams usually consist of great, extraordinary, spectacular things. And that is no easy feat. Now sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking our journey will be much easier than we thought it would be. And that usually hits us like a punch to the gut. That is where you need to have enough desire and drive to continue. Focus on what it is that you want, what made you start and what is going to keep you going. Set yourself up for success! 

Realize that sometimes to achieve your goals and dreams you have to make sacrifices, changes, adjustments and even wrong turns. That is another reason that dreams are hard. We as humans think the journey should be a straight line from A to B, but more often than not (I mean like 99.9% of the time) the journey is not a straight line, but instead ups and downs, curves, set backs, stalls and all other hiccups you can think of that disrupts your journey and can completely derail anyone that does not keep that focus that we talked about earlier. This can be the hardest part! The mental challenge of setback after setback. It is very hard when you start the dance of two steps forward and four steps backward. But if you keep at it, every so often you get a step or two extra in there and you don’t realize it but you are further ahead than when you started. Enjoy your season. Appreciate your journey. And don’t forget to take in everything you can along the way. The lessons you are learning are invaluable and they will help you conquer your goal.

Here is a story of mine, overcoming setbacks. It’s not the ideal outcome… yet. But it is something to put things into perspective on how you handle things, help dictate your outcome. It also addresses the emotional side we experience when we are working towards a dream.

I bought a new horse to be my show horse one day. He was a weanling (baby horse for my non-horse people). His siblings had been great and talented… all of them. So we expected nothing less from him. I spent a lot of money on him in my eyes. It was the first real prospect I bought as an amateur. No parents footing any bills. *Side note: I had been paying my way to show horses since I was 16. But I had a horse my parents had bought for me and all my show tack from then. But this time, I bought the horse and was paying everything else as well.* Since he was a baby, I got to work with him early on and put a solid foundation on him. I also had time to save money and budget. I was a young, newly-married amateur. I had to save and budget to be able to carry this dream to fruition. But I had a year and half-ish to save and cultivate a plan that would be picture perfect and set us up for success… insert laughing emoji here! I spent my time working him and saving and putting the solid foundation on him I had planned. I decided on a trainer late in his yearling year. I called the trainer, explained my plan of wanting a horse, not a 2 year old. And that I had a strict budget that would only last us 5 months. He thought this was completely doable. He thought the plan was good and we set a date of when I would bring him… on my birthday! Happy Birthday to me, lol! Without boring you with all the details, that carefully cultivated plan, was hit with a tsunami and ruined. I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to recover from every twist, turn and hiccup that was experienced during the climb of this dream. I faced so many emotions during and after this. I was mad. I was sad. I was hopeful. I was devastated. I was furious. I blamed them for all the things done wrong and handled incorrectly. I blamed myself for sending him off too early. Or picking the wrong trainer. I blamed myself for not trying to bring him home sooner. I was once again Mad. Once again sad. Once again hopeful. Once again devastated. And once again furious. And those emotions replayed, oh about a million times. I was hurt that I wronged this horse who was real sure he was my shadow, my puppy, my lap dog. I had the air completely knocked out of my sails knowing that I had saved for the last 17 months and it was blown and we were quickly trying to figure out how to come up with the money to see another vet to figure out what had happened, what his problem was and how we could make him 100%. And all I was trying to do was hold on to my dream that was quickly being torn from my fingertips. I was broke, devastated and emotionally exhausted. At 28-29 years old, all I wanted to do was walk away from the one thing that had been my constant love, joy and passion since I was 5. I couldn’t afford another penny at the vet. My heart could not take another blow. My brain could not accept any more defeat. But we had a final blow that could be the end of his life, since he would have no comfortable quality of life if it did not go well. This had been a matter of 3 years at this point. He was on stall rest. I hung his halter up and walked away. And now for the first time in several years, I am actually entertaining the idea of wanting to try again. That is 8 years for when this nightmare started… 

Sometimes dreams are hard… emotionally, physically, financially and in a million other ways. Be prepared when you “saddle up” for the journey of achieving your dreams and goals. It will be soooooooooo worth it in the end. You will realize that every drop of blood, sweat and tears was worth it to reach the mountain top. Ever sacrifice and heartbreak will make sense. And you will be stronger. Dreams are hard, but worth it.